Real talk

Thanks for all the shit that happened

Share this post

Reach your goals, be successful, encounter amazing opportunities and meet the love of our life along the way- isn’t that what we are all after?

We are chasing those picture-perfect moments, success stories and love at first sight fairytales, trying to ignore the “real life” shit that tends to happen along the way. Shit that a lot of us wish would never happen.

But why?

It’s not our happy moments and achievements that define us. More so it’s our regrets, failures, heartbreaks and disappointments that shape us into the person that we are.

Looking back at the last years I am grateful for the fuckboys that ghosted me, for the friends that left my life, the dreams that didn’t become a reality and for the challenges I had to encounter along the way.

A few years ago, I was seeing a guy, who never put in a lot of effort to see me and generally wasn’t too interested. Nonetheless I still had crush on him and I would always beat myself up about the fact that he wasn’t really into me. I would ask myself: What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he want to date me? I kept searching for mistakes within myself, instead of realizing that perhaps he just wasn’t meant for me.

And guess what? A few months after I decided to stop chasing him, I started hanging out with a really nice guy, who was genuinely in love with me and who became my boyfriend of two years.

I am grateful that the douchebag guy decided to treat me badly, because that way I had to force myself to move on and ended up falling in love with someone who (at that time) was exactly what I wanted in my life.

The same goes for friends and other people in my life that disappointed me, because without those actions I would have never found the courage to cut them out of my life and surround myself with supportive people instead.

Life has a funny way of leading you into the right direction. Oftentimes when everything feels like it is going wrong, life is actually leading you on a better path.

A lot of my plans and dreams didn’t work out in the past and left me feeling like a failure. I found myself forced to try something else, which most of the time ended up being way more successful and more in alignment with what I really wanted to be doing. 

Thanks to all the shit that happened in my life I know exactly what I want and what I don’t want. I know what kind of people I want to be surrounded with and how I want to feel. Thanks to all the struggles that happened I know who I am and what I am capable of.

Don’t let our success obsessed society fool you into thinking that there is something wrong with you if you are not where you want to be, if you are making mistakes and if people don’t act the way you would like them to. 

These days everything is so “urgent” we don’t allow ourselves time for experiments, failure or setbacks.

We rush. We rush until we find that 10 years down the line we have taken the wrong path that will never get us to where we want to be.

Don’t make that mistake. If something doesn’t go the way you want it to, it’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing, because now at least you know what you don’t want and you are reminded of what it is that you truly desire. 

Here is to being grateful for all the shit that went wrong, because it has taught us more than any success story ever will. 

Shot in London by Jim Knight here // edit by me


Charlie 9. August 2019 Reply

As someone who’s feeling all these things and (very) slowly (in a two-steps-foward-one-step-back sort of way) learning that I’m coming out of it stronger, thank you for saying it out loud. It’s so important that people realise that life isn’t over when things so important to you can go so wrong. Cheers to the shit x

Eva 21. August 2019 Reply

These black and white shots are damn cool. Really interesting. And your writing is intense as always!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Related stories